Benefits Coordinator T-Shirts

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'This list of 800 help hot-line numbers is our complete health plan.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'Sure, I could do better, but you try finding a job with medical and dental in this economy.'

"Don't worry, I'll be very discreet with your personal medical information."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

Labor Day '19

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

Walk the dog.

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

'Oh yeah, our people will just fall over themselves to get transferred to this office.'

'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'

Companies are slashing employee health care and pension benefits. Cutting, slashing, trimming, eliminating. Look at them go. I feel like I'm watching a great athlete on tv. I'm so inspired! You're one odd duck. Rudy – come hither my overpaid dumpling!

'Hello, is that the temp agency? Now listen, I specifically asked for Elves!'

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

"Regarding salary and benefits, pick one or the other."

Benefit mistakes cost £one billion a year... Well, in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct, they just weren't in the right order.

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"

"We did it, we found the nonprofit fountain of funding."

'You've been assessed as incapable of doing this work.'

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

"Take me to your benefits office."

'No, you don't get a check because your computer is disabled.'