Benefits Advisor T-Shirts

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

"Just because times are tough doesn't mean we should cut back on staff training...So today I'd like you to spend some time at the benefits agency..."

'No, you don't get a check because your computer is disabled.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

Labor Day '19

'You'll get a promotion when hell freezes over.'

". . . We're being sucked into the UK national debt!"

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

The Great Divide.

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no-one hears it.".... "Then your illegal logging business is a success."

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"Uh oh! The management consulting firm we hired has gone bankrupt!"

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

"Never delegate authority; delegate liability."

Small Business Advisor - Sports Training in the Restaurant Business.

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'