Benefit Negotiator T-Shirts

"Regarding salary and benefits, pick one or the other."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

Overdraft limit.

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"My lobbyist trumps your legal team."

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'