Benchwarmer Philosopher Mugs

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"I AM at my usual position."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Boring Board Meeting

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."