Believer In Battle Of The Sexes Pillows

'They're called the opposite sex because whatever you want to do, they always want to do the opposite.'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Get an afterlife!'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

Shall I be mother?

'Confusionism'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

Football Delivery

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"I love you, ya big galoot."

Nail Gun Manicure

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

Hair spray for woman, Mr. Sheen for man.

'This is my feminine side coming out.'

'No wonder you haven't found yourself yet, men can't find anything.'

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"Where are all your Santa Claus books – fiction or nonfiction?"

"I know what you're thinking."

"No need to worry, ma'am. The city's ban on pigs would not include your husband!"

'I'll grant you all men are reptiles, but not all reptiles are men.'