Being Online Mugs

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Moses on the web

Right click for yes...

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"OMG, LOL!"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Online Dating

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Technology and Love

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Today's love