Beginning A Relationship Gifts

"My god she is perfect!"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Sexual chemistry set

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"You know, if it weren't for Penny, we'd never find time like this to connect."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

First love.

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

So … how did you two meet?

'I'm falling in love with Eddie... he has the most beautiful biggest organ ever!'

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'