
'... Yes, I'd love to go on a date with you. Can I bring my boyfriend?'
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'... Yes, I'd love to go on a date with you. Can I bring my boyfriend?'
I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.
'They're at that awkward stage where everything is warm and fuzzy.'
"I like to keep my option open."
"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."
Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.
"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."
Love at First Sight
Speed Dating for Turtles
'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'
I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.
Romance
"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"
"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."
On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.
"She's in a conversationally induced coma."
"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."
"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"
I only have eyes for you
Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.
"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"
"Mr. Right!"
Relationship Warning Lights
'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'
'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'
"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."
"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."
"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."
"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"
I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.
"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."
Love linked
"She's just being Koi."
"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."
Klimt Kiss Phones
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