Beer-fluent Balladeer T-Shirts

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

'My arms are getting shorter.'

A Poet

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

How's my Jiving?

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

'You've had enough!'

Beer companies merge.

BEER BELLY

"Bono is nice, and Bono cares, but I really dig Barry Manilow."

How's My Jiving?

Quicksand.

Peculiar looking group of people talk about how strange they think the other guests at a public ball are

"I hear alcohol slows reactions..."

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

'Quiet you!'

Karaoke kid.

'I tried jogging once, but it frothed up my beer.'

Does THAT satisfy your commitment to the Trade Description Act?

'Here's one I wrote to cover the sound of my wife's voice telling me nobody is going to pay to hear my songs.'

Yeah, but I hear she lays a mean Scotch egg.

"If the medical treatment doesn't work, I sing them songs about medical treatment."

Getting in shape (or not)

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'

'We caught him with this up his jumper, trying to join the darts team under false pretences.'

"The beer has a third less calories and the styrofoam peanuts have none."

"I didn't think it was 'hush-hush'. You didn't lower your voice an octave."

Dance Partner

School of dancing - "You'll have to foot the bill for the extra leg work"