Bedtime Storybooker Pillows

Tired and Lazy

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Late night teddy reading

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'She's just great with the children.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."