Bedtime Battler T-Shirts

Mother nailing child into bunk bed.

"You can't send me to bed now - now when events are breaking so fast."

Dad says to baby, 'If you keep this up you'll go to bed right this second, in a minute.'

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

'Turn over, Zorro!'

"Will you quit sleeping so goddamn peacefully!"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"No. You turn over."

The Forever Stamp

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

Stop hogging the sheets

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

Sleeping masks

'I can't sleep... Tell me about your day at the office again.'

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

Bedtime Reading

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

'Can you leave the light on? It's hard to sleep with the dark shining in my eyes.'

'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'