Bedtime Advocate Prints

A child with his mother and a doctor.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'What's play?'

'Where was the TSA?'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Time for bed, guys."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

Fairtale prosecutions.

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

"It had an interesting emotional arc and some nice plot twists, but the heroine and subsidiary characters were unconvincing within the historical context."

". . . and they lived happily ever after. . . in an aspirational sort of way."

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'