Bedside Manner Jokester T-Shirts

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"I feel your pain level."

Doctors Discussion

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

Bed Fellow

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Gravity wins - again.'

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

'Tender and Juicy.'

'My member requires some interest.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

"I find this helps, when I have to tell a patient some devastating news."

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

'I've called maintenance about your bed, Mr. Grimes...Mr. Grimes?'

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"An olive or a twist?"