Bedroom Retailer T-Shirts

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Tedious Romantic.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'Gravity wins - again.'

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

Wine Lovers

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"Counting sheep is the quickest way to fall asleep...and with this sheep number mattress, you can say 'BAA-BAA' to sheepless nights forever."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

The cushions are very soft !

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'Don't hurt it.'

Water bed.

Extremes meet - A very tall guest is shown to a short bed.

Furniture being sent out of the shop ('everything must go').

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress... Should last for years...'

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

'What size you folks want. . . twin? Double? Single?'

'OK, the bedspread doesn't do it for you. What's your formula for arousal?'