Becoming A Surrogate Mugs

Surrogate patchwork mom

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

"A charming risk taker, who's not afraid to get bit. Boy, do I have an opportunity for you."

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

'Actually, this is my vacation. I'm a substitute teacher.'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

"I'm sorry we couldn't give you more time off for the funeral, Sam. You know how hard it is to find a substitute."

'You're a substitute teacher...I'm a substitute student!'

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'Hey, I heard we have a sub today!'

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

Assisted pregnancy for same sex couples

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Guardianship of minors

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."