Becoming A Homeowner Pillows

'And in addition to a great room, this home has a cool room,super duper room and a totally awesome room.'

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

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House Hunters of the Old West

'If this isn't rich beyond your wildest dreams, your dreams aren't wild enough.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Tool Box

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

A DIY disaster.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

The Day Dreamer.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'