Becoming A Financial Advisor Pillows

'The bad news is that our fund lost money this quarter. The good news is that it's other people's money.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'That's our mission statement.'

Jack of all trades

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."