Beauty Treatment Explorer Gifts

'Okay - let's forget the budget treatment'

"Our breast implants are filled with helium so in addition to larger breasts you will also weigh less."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

PROBLEM AREAS

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

Red in tooth and claw.

Dating is so expensive...

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Virtual Super-Model.

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

"This is more than a look. This is a context."

'Botox is one thing, but that's the last time I go to a liposuction party!'

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

"I just got back from my plastic surgery consultation. The surgeon is also a football coach in his free time."