Beauty Treatment Explorer Gifts

'Okay - let's forget the budget treatment'

"Our breast implants are filled with helium so in addition to larger breasts you will also weigh less."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

PROBLEM AREAS

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Red in tooth and claw.

Dating is so expensive...

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

Virtual Super-Model.

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"This is more than a look. This is a context."

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

'Botox is one thing, but that's the last time I go to a liposuction party!'