Beauty Shop Manager Pillows

People Who Talk To Elvis...

Cut Price

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

Books On Paper

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

'I know you are, but what am I?'

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

'You don't know how lucky you are having tentacles instead of arms. I spend a fortune in manicure.'

''Wait till they've gone, then quietly clean the windows', I said - But you won't be told!'

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

Magazines.

Anita Roddick

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

Shop manager drives digger to remove persistent magazine readers

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

'Do you have any of the perfume that makes me look like Angelina Jolie?'

'Please bear with us until the power is restored, Mrs. Harris.'

Nail Gun Manicure

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

'I wanted my new sign to be noticeable.'

Cat Book Signing

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."