Beachside Philosopher Pillows

"Not another of your idiotic lawsuits, I hope."

'Yes, I'm retired but my former coworkers keep calling to find out who they should kiss up to.'

'Get going or wait for the tide?'

'Well, you could have fooled me. You look as though you're having a good time.'

Man goes to the beach to fill sandbags.

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

A Poem about Sand

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

'...the really big ones can be found.'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Mozart on a lilo

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

"IBM up 2 1/4, ATT down a 1/4,GM ... "

Artist Misses the Point

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

Lemmings on Vacation

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."