Beachbum T-Shirts

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Beach con-man.

Desert Island Meals.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

'Thank-you God.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Bad fake tan day.

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Bring your own inflatable.

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Daughters on the beach

Hiding the electronics.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"