Beach Bum Bookworm Pillows

Sunblock - A Novel

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Beach con-man.

Desert Island Meals.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'Thank-you God.'

Bad fake tan day.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bring your own inflatable.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Hiding the electronics.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Iliadette.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'It must be the dead sea.'

Surfing koala.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Fresh pepper?"