Bathroom Renovators Pillows

Blake's Sealant.

"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."

Plumbers afraid of Spiders

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"Finally a bit of privacy."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Painting the Ceiling

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'How are you doing on your side?'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Duck in a bathtub

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

WC problem.

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."