Bat-wielder Pillows

Cricketer

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Malcolm Sargent

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

Bat

Leonard Bernstein

'It appears to be a genuine bat-out-of-hell.'

House Plant Party

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

"I've had to leave the city: the noise pollution was making it difficult for me to fly safely..."

'He is not my pet...he is my son!'

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

The Conductor

'And how often have you been to see Die Fledemaus?'

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

I love hockey!

"Let's just say I'm leaving to pursue other interests."

On my downbeat...

"For next Father's Day, we'll get you a tie clip."

"I see Grandad's dropped off again."

'Calm down brain. Now you're just getting greedy.'

Top 3 Complaints of Batman's Ex-Girlfriend.

'You've take up the violin at 76? Must be hell for those living at 74 and 78...'

Ask Sadie. Sadie – Will you share with us pictures of your lovely self as a young woman? - Roberto, Sent from my Kindle Fire. Actual reader letter. Is that his last name? What? Send from my Kindle Fire?! It's his device. My device is a bat. Hide the devices.

Sir Thomas Beecham.

Esa-Pekka Salonen

'You're behind on every pitch, Billy! Try choking up on the bat!'