Basketball Time Analyst Pillows

How much time is left? Eight minutes? Shelly consults her basketball-time-to-real-time conversion chart.

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Other Cooperstown

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Centaur Forward

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'Nice tackle, Dewey! You knocked the fur ball out of him!'

Wilfried Zaha

Puppy.

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Lost Season

Basketball.

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."