Baseball Superfan T-Shirts

"From now until October, he'll be quiet as a pussycat."

'It's got to be a record for all sports! His contract gives him a Rolls-Royce, a million dollar home and the key to Fort Knox!'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

350 Feet.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Perils of the double play.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Sheltering in place.

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Extra innings.

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Official Team Cap With Beard

Monster Baseball

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

All Star Team.

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'