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Twin-killing choreography

"That's my best advice to you, Mr. Gilbert. Try not to reject it out of hand simply because it also happens to be Mike Lupica's advice to the Mets."

"How are the Royals doing?"

Monster Club. It's difficult to get this entire group to a ball game. Yeah, Dracula will go only on bat day. King Kong has to be in the upper deck. Jekyll and Hyde only go to double-headers. There must be a full moon for the werewolf to go. And of course The Hulk will only sit atop the Fenway Park left field wall. Yeah, he loves the green monster! Red Sox.

Instead of biting them on the neck, he conks them on the head. Ah, a "wham-pire"!

'They play five innings or until six parents fall asleep, whichever comes first.'

'7th inning, stretch time.'

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

"I'm a Texas Ranger."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

350 Feet.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Perils of the double play.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

Sheltering in place.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Official Team Cap With Beard

Monster Baseball