Barstool Dreamer Prints

"It was very amicable—I gave her everything."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I'm bored."

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

My first mistake.

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"And then it hit me—I'm sleeping with my mother."

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

'Unfortunately, our entirely Twitter and Facebook based business model was a little ahead of its time!'

"Do you know what we need? We need drinking songs."

"Real estate values soar, cute boutiques proliferate, fine cuisine abounds. These are exciting times to live in Hoboken."

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

Most of his innovative product ideas first saw life in his home studio.

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'You've never experienced the Amazon...it's a jungle.'

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Boozer's Week.'

'Come to our microbrew party. It's B.Y.O.B. Bring Your Own Brewery.'

"I gotta say: I admire his judicial temperament."

"So, your friend Victor's a doctor?"

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

His career of well designed new products had begun in the sandbox.

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

"No, actually the viola is played more like this."