Barn Jokester Mugs

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

Police Cow!

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

'You want to hear me speaking my first word? I don't say anything without my lawyer, mister!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Clandestine cows.

Son to Father, "So dad, tell me, have you ever larged it!"

'But, Mom - I am watering the garden just like you told me!'

"Maybe this year..."

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."