Bark Whisperer Prints

I swear, you only hear half the things I say.

"He's sending an instant message."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Children's Parties

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Licensed Therapist

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Barks in code.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Canine Companion

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."