Bargaining Master T-Shirts

"Of course, I expect a ten-per-cent finder's fee."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"How soon will this be a remnant

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"O.K., if you put it that way."

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

"Dad, if you give me a fiver, I'll explain the Lisbon Treaty to you."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"Well now that you all have put in your 2p, I'd like to put in my 52%"

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

House sale.

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

Book Deal

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"You sure know how to talk to sales clerks!"

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"How much if I pedal?"

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

'He absolutely demanded a deal. But I was able to satisfy him by doubling the price and then cutting it in half.'

'Dammit, I said 25 Billion Dollars-and not a penny less!'

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

'Take us to your leader. We want to discuss outsourcing possibilities.'