Masterful Negotiators T-Shirts

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

Changing Minds

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"O.K., if you put it that way."

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

"Well now that you all have put in your 2p, I'd like to put in my 52%"

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

'My final offer.'

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'