Bargain Booze Seeker Mugs

6-7pm: 'Money can't buy happiness' hour.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

A Quiet Rebuke.

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

Customer Convention

Online Shopping.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

How much would you take off for cash?

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

Black Friday

Clothes sale - everything must go!

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

Bargains

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

Sale today - 50% off everything!