Barfly Banter Lover Mugs

"Next time, if someone gives you a compliment, just say 'thank you'."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'You've changed.'

An Archeologic Dig

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Another Martoonie?"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"I consider myself a passionate man, but, of course, a lawyer first."

Virtual Babe

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

'Here comes Ted.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I used to own a riding school, but business started falling off..."

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"I don't know if I've mentioned this before, Greg, but you are a very attractive man."

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

"He doesn't look like you at all."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"What's so funny about two monkeys in a bar?"

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

"Here's my card. Give me a call if you ever need a barfly."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'