Barbecue Jokester T-Shirts

"Are you sure he's a vegetarian?"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Onion operation.

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

'Nice Touch!'

"Has anyone seen Derek?"

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

Chez Homework

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

The wife made it. Why?

"What's my laptop. Your old room is now the computer room."

'I'll have a BLT.' 'ASAP or PDQ?'

"Your husband's pot roast is heavenly. It takes an eternity to chew it."

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

"Stupid thing won't light."