Bar Humor Aficionados Prints

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

Virtual Lap Dancing

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'I'd like a brandy please...'

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'Who was that Chad?' 'Ahh, just an old flame of mine.' Two candles at the bar talking about the flame walking out the door

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'