Banners Pillows

Save Our Universe

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Director/Action Man toy.

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Creative department

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

Infinity Tavern

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

They get into debt so fast these days...

"You can't lose pal. For a small fee, you make huge commissions every time you sell those babies."

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

Honesty in retail

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

The Doorway to Ideas

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'