Banking Satire Collector Pillows

'There you go...we now keep our clients' money separate from our own.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

You're right, Jenkins. The numbers don't lie. Get me some that do.

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

'And no doubt you'll be pleased to hear, the pay's crap.'

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'Of course our competitors have an unfair advantage - their product actually works.'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

Harvest Data Festival

'Nasty growth, eh? I recommend you go into hospitals at once!'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

The Recession Hole.

'Due to the threat of litigation, I can only confirm that he worked here...if THAT'S what you want to call it.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"Yes, Mr. James is in. What excuse would you like to hear for him not seeing you?"

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

Foreclosure

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'Your mom likes you ... well, heck, that's all we need.'

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."