Bank Executive T-Shirts

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

The first ATM is invented.

'Your reckless nature will lead to good fortune and misery for millions.'

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

"Excuse the mess, sir, but this is what happens when the Feds won't let us pay bonuses!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Occu-Pie Mars

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?