Bandwidth Believers Pillows

"We give thanks for superfast broadband, 4G connectivity ..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Radiator jazz player

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Confusionism'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

"Hello?"

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

The Big Foot Book.

The Sea Angler: And by keeping an open for sea birds - they have an uncanny ability to locate fish.

'The end is near.'

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

Planck's Constant Nagging.

'Yeah, we don't need marionette strings anymore. Everything is done with bluetooth!'

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Everyone off the internet, I have a meeting to attend."

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

"Ignore the side effect scares - I've had both jabs in each arm - I'm getting my booster in this one!"

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

'Anything besides the three lotto tickets?'

"Don't punish yourself for who you are. That's God's job."

"You mean to say, you don't even have broadband?"

"Help this athlete grow bigger and stronger, so that when he goes into the ring, he can beat the brains our of his opponent."

"How can your god be both intangible and male? Does he have an intangible penis?"

"It's pulling to the left."

Wait Here. Employment Office. My belief that if you can't say something nice about a person you shouldn't say anything at all spelled doom for my career as a radio talk show host.

'Where have you been all your life? Everybody knows that zero coupon bonds are the way to go!'