Ballpark Buff Prints

Baseball Angels

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Golfing Boss

Bowled over again!

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'It's baseball season!'

The Other Cooperstown

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Currently Boston

Dialogue about the relationship.

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

It was the bottom of the fifth and the bases were loaded.

'Will that be coach?'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'