Baller At Heart T-Shirts

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

Tennis ball girl.

'Excuse me, it's 1-2-3, 1-2-3, not bum-tit-tit, bum-tit-tit!'

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

Woman dancing with a hot water bottle.

'Sheep striptease'.

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

'I think we're lost, next time I'm leading.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Freestyling.

How's my Jiving?

The Dancing Academy

Peacock on skateboard

'How about this for the masked ball?'

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

Sporting maladies.

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

Magicians monkey.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

"Well I don't think you do want to win this as much as I do."

'Oh, goodie! You've learned to walk upright - now we can take ballroom dancing lessons!'

How's My Jiving?

Clown school

"Our amazing son knows who Jaco Pastorius is!"

A Trying Moment.

Madonna

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

Empty Dress