Baldness Jokes Prints

Can you say "compensating"?

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Balding gnomes

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Bald man with a brush on his head

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

'It's a smaller planet than I thought.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"Well, did it work?"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Hair club for men.

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

"This one is called 'Hell Toupee'

Combs for the bald.

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

'You can tell when you're getting older when your ears are hairier than your head!'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'