Balance Sheet Warrior Pillows

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"We got the cactus account!"

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

Workaholics Anonymous

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

"Yes, it's report card time again."

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

Pig Bank Hammer

Better Than Roses

Big City Bank Loan manager