Badge Earner Pillows

'As you get older and get a job, you will find that merit badges are called bonuses.'

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

Beer Sergeant.

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Well done, I hear you hit your target. Yes, a week for two in Hawaii.

Continental marshal

'How many merit badges do you have?'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

Graduate.

"Nice! You know dressing up isn't a requirement right?!"

Footballer's Wages

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

'I got this one for failing to earn a merit badge.'

Boy Scouts trying to get their free fall badges

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

"Well, Timmy is a raven: they are always very smart! You being second is a great achievement!"