Bad Behavior Battler Mugs

'He's bitten me for the last time!'

Santa Claus's Mail

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Dog Park / Cat Park

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"I hate it when we fight."

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Pop Culture for Teens

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

'Come on dear, don't be shy: This little she-chameleon just wants to play...'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Lately, I can't even burn the candle at one end."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"You've seen Grace under pressure. Here's Grace after the pressure is off."

Thinking outside the box.

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

One giant bark for dogkind.

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

'Another rough day, sir? Can I give you a little push to the elevator?'

'Life is all about balance. That's why you're overworked and underpaid.'

"I think up most of the things that get me in trouble here while I'm in the time-out chair at home."

"Is this your work?"

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

'Mind if we play through?'

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

"I think you were right Davis, maybe you do need a day off!"

'You have an excellent worker's comp case for job stress.'

"I can't stand the way it's taunting us!"

'...but what else am I supposed to do between 9 and 5 on a weekday?'