Backyard Sunseeker Gifts

"That bloke next door with the trampoline is starting to bug me."

On holiday.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Holiday time.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Bad fake tan day.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Privates Beach"

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

French wine

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'I blame global warming!'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

"We're here to experience pleasure."

Sunbathing in the park

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Beach hats

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."