Bachelor T-Shirts

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Not all lobsters, babe. I'm just looking for a good time."

'...Eno should live to the age of a hundred and sixty.'

'Doing?'

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'It was a pretty rough divorce -- somehow, I ended up in the Federal witness protection program.'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

How witness protection really works...

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'...Please stop the...'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I'm all about quantity.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

Reserve Ants

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'I'm coping.'

'Dang.'

'Slow and hurl.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'Tele-barketer.'

Bachelor Cake

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

Clancy: Footloose and Fiancee-Free

'Is that a satellite photo?'

Virtual reality mirror.

'Okey-doke,'