Baby Kick Enthusiasts Pillows

'Did you feel the baby kick that time, hon?'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

A midwife holding a baby

'The child is very illogical'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"They look so young and helpless."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"He looks just like your husband."

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'