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Birth of a worrier

Diapers. Formula. Yeah, well, don�t come crawling to me for a bottle when it all goes to hell. Baby Survivalist.

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"Baby FOMO."

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

Please queue here for contraction service.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Whoa

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"It's his emotional support animal."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Bouncing baby

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

Gangster Babies

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Baby restaurant

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"